The Automatik

Today is a sad day. It’s sad because I went to Tom Arbon’s funeral. He wasn’t an old man; he was only 34. And he wasn’t sick. He was stabbed to death at a Halloween party. He leaves behind an 11-year-old son and a wife, a wife he’s been married to for six weeks. No one really knows why the 50-year-old stranger stabbed my co-worker in the chest. Although the news originally reported it as an intervention to stop Tom from beating his wife, this was a suggestion that was almost more shocking than the fact that Tom was stabbed to death. All of his friends and family said that such a scenario was ludicrous. These were the friends and family members who made up the hundred-plus mourners at his funeral. The question of “why?” hangs heavy over the head of everyone there, everyone who knew Tom, a friendly, fun-loving guy who had a big laugh and a big smile for everyone. It hangs especially heavy over the head of Tom’s young son, who most certainly cannot appreciate the gravity of this incident yet.

I was 11 when my stepfather died. He was 41. He had a massive heart attack in his sleep and never woke up. My half-sister, his daughter, was 3 and a half. We could not have conceived at that time how much of a negative impact his sudden death would have on us, not to mention the effect it had on my mother, who was a widow at about the age I am now. And so I feel for Tom’s son because I know how this sort of tragedy can change your life beyond your comprehension. And I feel for his wife because I have been married for six months and have yet to live in the same country, much less the same household, as my husband. And it could have been Shaun that was stabbed at a Halloween party, not Tom.

I’m also sad because President Bush is President Bush again for four more years. I’m not a Democrat and I certainly wouldn’t consider myself a liberal, although I have what I’m sure Conservatives would call “liberal ideas” on many issues. But I don’t think that basic human rights for everyone—women, minorities, and homosexuals—are liberal ideas. I am not a big Kerry supporter. After all, he and Bush are both rich white men. I disagreed with Kerry on many issues, and in the beginning, I didn’t want to vote for him.

I couldn’t reconcile my concerns about a Constitutional amendment defining marriage as something that homosexual couples would forever be excluded from with the idea that Kerry would lead us into disaster in the Middle East. I should add that although I am a pacifist, I also felt that an abrupt exit from Iraq would be like taking only half of an antibiotic prescription for a case of strep throat. On the other hand, I always felt that the war in Iraq was just a diversion to pump up the jingoism because we couldn’t manage to capture Osama Bin Laden and the American people were rabidly insisting that someone must pay. Preferably someone who is not a white Christian.

Still undecided, I at least decided that couldn’t handle the cheerleading of the conventions, but I heard about them. I was embarrassed for the Republican Party. They didn’t seem like the Republicans I knew, the ones who were against big, intrusive government. Then I watched the debates and was appalled by how ignorant and rude Mr. Bush appeared. I read the article in the New York Times Magazine and was horrified that he could let his Born Again Christian status dictate his decisions. Then I read another article that suggested that his Born Again Christian status was just a tool to get the votes of the heartland. Today, I read this article about the Christian Reconstructionists and I felt even more dismayed.

So how do I end this on a hopeful note, if not a positive one? The only solace I can take today is that perhaps in the end, something good will come of Tom’s death. I don’t know what, but I hope at least his killer is brought to justice. I hope that there is something positive around the corner for his family and his friends and that they will recover from this tragedy with grace and dignity. As for the fate of this country, I hope that the massive voter turnout will spell the beginning of the end of the apathy of millions of citizens. I hope that these voters will pay closer attention to local elections and that they will not fall victim to party politics.

I don’t hate Bush supporters. (I leave the hate for the Neo-Cons to wield against the rest of us.) I can’t even say that I don’t understand the Bush supporters because I know that many of them voted for Bush because they disliked Kerry so much. But I don’t agree with them and I am scared to think what will happen now. I want our country to move forward and not backwards, but I just don’t see that happening with Bush at the helm. In the end, it almost seems irrelevant because today a 34-year old man with a new wife and a young son was buried because a stranger stabbed him in the chest.