Thoughts on Barry Cowsill: 1954-2005
No I can’t hide the memory of you away
Today or any other day
It’s a time for remembrance
A time to cry
And, I’ll cry
The Cowsills, “A Time for Remembrance”
When I heard the news about Barry Cowsill’s death last night I felt completely gutted.
I’d been hoping for the best ever since I first heard in early September that he was missing. I kept thinking maybe Barry was just holed up somewhere having a beer and a good time. If only that was the case.
The Cowsills were the inspiration for The Partridge Family. They were actually supposed to star on the show, but at the last minute, their manager and father changed his mind because the network wanted to cast actress Shirley Jones as mother Barbara. This change then launched the careers of David Cassidy and the infamy of Danny Bonaduce.
Barry was sort of the real-life counterpart to Danny – he was the clown, the attention-getter, and indisputably, the most popular Cowsill. (I was at a party with Barry once and his son Colin was quite the little hellion himself.) Although in the world of television, it was David Cassidy who was the heartthrob, in real life that was Barry. The girls always loved (and still reminisce about) Barry’s goofy charm and stage antics.
Although the Cowsills’ music is often dismissed as nothing more than bubblegum fluff, I assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. This was not a band that was put together by men in suits; this was a family who loved music and who were (and are) very good at writing and performing it.
Most people probably know their hits like “The Rain, The Park and Other Things” (flowers in her hair, flowers everywhere!) or their cover of “Hair” (complete with lil’ sis Susan’s recognizable “And spaghetti!”). It was this version that Leonard Graves Phillips from L.A.’s punk goofballs The Dickies used as a template for that band’s own cover version in the 90s. No stranger to the tragedies and pitfalls of early fame himself, Leonard once admitted in an interview that he adored The Cowsills’ “We Can Fly” and used to hide the single under his bed so he wouldn’t lose punk cred amongst his peers.
I’ve often struggled with trying to pick a list of favourite Cowsills tunes. It’s just impossible. While the idealistic side of me thrills to stuff like “Gotta Get Away” and “Indian Lake,” I’m often drawn to the smouldering beauty of “Yesterday’s Girl,” with its heavenly and heart-wrenching harmonies, or the quiet grandeur of “Night Shift.” Then there’s “In Need of a Friend,” with its lovely, pensive lyrics:
Hey, I need a friend
Not just a wall that I talk to
But a mind having doors I can walk through
I need a friend
Yes, I do
I first got into The Cowsills because of Redd Kross, specifically Jeff McDonald, who was a big fan and friend of Susan. At that time, I was living in New Orleans and so was Susan, along with the other members of her band, Continental Drifters. My friends and I saw them play every chance we got – their live performances were mind-blowing and brought about the kind of casual, communal ecstasy that I have never seen before or since. (And this was part of the reason that I wanted to – and succeeded in – briefly working for Monkey Hill, the Drifters’ record label at the time.)
Another favourite haunt of ours was Carrollton Station, where on Sunday nights, Susan’s then-husband Peter Holsapple would play free acoustic sets. Peter held the crowd spellbound with his wit and talent, and sometimes Susan would join him for truly memorable performances. One that stands out vividly is Peter and Susan doing a haunting version of The Cowsills’ 1990s tune, “Is It Any Wonder?” a real pop gem if I’ve ever heard one.
Peter’s former band mate from the dB’s, Jeff Beninato, would also pop in from time to time. And that’s where Barry comes in. During the 90s, Jeff played bass in Barry’s band, dubbed The Stragglers. The Stragglers didn’t sound like the Cowsills or Continental Drifters but they were damn good. I saw them live a few times, met Barry and Jeff (which is how I found myself at the aforementioned party), and kept waiting for them to release an album.
Anyone that knew Barry or spent any amount of time with him knew that Barry could be, as one Cowsills friend and fan put it recently, “a pain.” I heard more than a few disparaging remarks made about his erratic behaviour and his drinking throughout those years. I distinctly remember seeing a quite drunk Barry teamed up with (of all people) pop-culture legend and lecher Kim Fowley at a local magazine’s launch party. Then there was that Jeff Buckley show when Barry was getting into trouble with a friend of mine outside the venue.
There were a few Continental Drifters shows I attended where Barry was present, full of jokes and sometimes inappropriate behaviour. But as anyone who knew Barry or spent any amount of time with him knew also, that was a big part of his charm. I never knew him well, but he seemed like a guy who loved his family and loved life, despite those pesky demons that never seemed to be more than a few steps behind him.
When the new millennium began, I didn’t see Barry much anymore. I heard he was living elsewhere. This year, I moved away from New Orleans to Canada. Then Katrina blew into town. The Cowsills siblings were tenacious in getting the story out that Barry was missing.
I, along with the other Cowsills fans, checked for news frequently on the Cowsills website, hoping against hope that Barry would be found, a little shaken perhaps, but alive and well. What a terrible turn of events then, to find out that the coroner determined he’d been dead for four months and worse, that there was uncertainty as to exactly how he died. We can blame Katrina, but there’s still that feeling that it could have been avoided and Barry would still be around. Even more upsetting is the knowledge that right before he disappeared, according to the band’s website, Barry was going to enter rehab and take some more control of his life, with a one way ticket to L.A. scheduled for the day after the storm hit.
My heart truly aches for the other siblings as well as Barry’s kids. It’s sadly ironic that someone who was such a vibrant, talented guy met such an untimely and tragic demise. When brother Richard Cowsill said on the band’s website that Barry is now in his mother’s arms, it took the wind out of me. That family has seen some hard times: getting dropped from their record label without warning, bankruptcy, family bickering, and mother Barbara’s death in 1985.
Like I mentioned earlier, the band is unfairly criticized for being disposable pop singers. I’ve been listening to and loving their music for about ten years now and while they often do make me smile, there are many tunes which show a remarkable depth of melancholy and sadness (I dare anyone to listen to “Father” from the practically unknown but amazing 1970 album II x II and not shed at least one tear.) Their harmonies were flawless and their passion for their music was obvious and inspiring. It’s unfortunate that all of their stuff isn’t available on CD because it is some of the most wonderful pop music you’ve never heard.
I will always love The Cowsills’ music and I will always treasure the feelings that it has created in my heart. And I will always remember Barry with fondness and now that he’s not with us any longer, more than a little bit of sadness.
Band History:
http://cowsill.com/cowsills/history.html
http://home.att.net/~bubblegumusic/cowsills.htm
http://www.srv.net/~roxtar/cowsills.html
Fan Tributes to Barry:
http://bapresley.com/silverthreads/deaths/barry.html
http://louisepalanker.blogspot.com/2006/01/thoughts-about-barry-cowsill.html
Interview with Barry Cowsill:
http://bapresley.com/silverthreads/history/newspapers/jiminterview.html
Interview with Bob Cowsill:
http://www.classicbands.com/CowsillsInterview.html
E! Online article about Barry (includes some more band history): http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,17660,00.html
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back in 1991, based on a demo cassette of “Is It Any Wonder,” I tried to sign the Cowsills to Atlantic, but was thwarted by the powers that be (I was just an A&R guy, he was the president ;) )
I have fond memories as a pre-teen/teen of their many hits, but “Is It Any Wonder” will always stand out as the most overlooked pop moment of their career.
RIP Barry :) I was always a fan.
Thanks for posting your memories of Barry and the other Cowsills. I agree about the tune, too:
She don’t wanna love me any more
She don’t wanna be the heart that mine beats for
is such a wonderful set of lines.
And there’s a bridge that takes your breath away, to boot.
Thank you for writing this tribute to Barry. You seem to have captured his essence in words. It’s horrible that he died but at least the family and all who cared about him have some kind of answer now…the waiting has been so difficult, I know.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
*hugs you right back*
What a wonderful tribute to a man who’s existence was always on the perimeter, yet who’s heart was always searching for a place to finally land. One of Barry’s legacy, as well as that of his siblings, will be great music and it is refreshing to read someone giving substance to that fact. Thank you. “Bee” (Barry) will be missed by many… family… friends… fans and some, all of the above.
I’m a friend of Barry’s and your article is a beautiful and accurate tribute to him, including what you saw in Colin. I saw a physical resemblance to Barry in Colin, too.
I’m going to link this for the family. Please email me and tell me who wrote this, they will want to know. His children would really like this.
Thank you for honoring Barry. His talent and children are his legacy as well as the joy he brought to many, many people. I miss him so much. There will NEVER be another Barry. That’s because Barry was ‘Barry’.
Thank you again.
Suzanne
Thank you for that wonderful tribute to Barry. He was quite special, wasn’t he? I had the privilege of meeting him several times…he actually knew my name! And he was always kind and funny and…well, Barry. Thank you, too, for acknowledging something a lot of us already knew…that the Cowsills are among the most talented musicians around…still. If Barry only knew all that was being said about him, he’d be terribly embarrassed. I’ll miss him forever.
Thanks to everyone who posted the most recent comments above. I’m glad that you liked what I wrote.
What a wonderful article! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and memories as well as the fitting tribute to the Cowsill family talents.
It’s great that there are writers who can put into words what so many of us are feeling or remembering.
The emotions are going deeper than words for so many of us at the loss of Barry.
I’m sure that the family appreciates your thoughtful article as well.
Thank You for the beautiful article on Barry and the Cowsills. They have been in my life since the 60′s. Barry has left a very happy impression in my life. I met him 2x’s. And he had me laughing the 2x’s i did meet him. I have pic’s of him and the rest of the family for the best of memories to cherish for ever. I will miss him forever. I LOVE THE COWSILLS. I wish them all my condolences, thoughts and prayers. Thank you again. Love Maureen
your words to barry are right on. i had the good fortune of meeting him about three years ago during jazz fest at the kerry. being a cowsill fan my whole life, i was amazed when my son took me to the kerry to introduce me to barry. shortly after that, he moved backed to ri and we were able to spend some great personal time with barry. he was an amazingly brilliant, talented, ecentric man who wanted nothing more in life but to be back with his wife, to be a good husband and to be with his kids and to be a good dad. he was trying so hard to get his life back together and i truly believe he wanted that more than anything in the world. unfortunately katrina came and took the life of one of the most complex, loving and caring people i have ever and probably will ever meet. barry, i will miss you forever.
I was saddened by the loss of Barry Cowsill. I grew up in “The Partridge Family” era and was a huge fan of that show. Lately, I’ve been listening to the oldies and The Cowsills started making me wish I could go back to being a kid again. Their music was real, they were a real family and their songs will live on forever. I kept checking the internet in hopes that Barry would be found. It really hit me hard when I learned of what happened to him. I went out to buy The Best of The Cowsills and I’m just getting to know them. It’s like I’m trying to bring Barry and his mother and my childhood back all at the same time.
I grew up on the Cowsills music. Barry was my favorite Cowsill. My childhood was really bad, due to an alcoholic father but the Cowsills music always made me feel “Happy”. While listening to their music, it took me away from the reality that I lived in and made me feel like I could feel as good as their music made me feel. Cowsill music just made you feel good no matter what. It helped me through an extremely rough childhood and I only wish that I could make the family and friends of the Cowsills feel as wonderful now in their time of need, as their music made me feel when I needed it the most.
This weekend I’ll be traveling to New Orleans for the first time since katrina hit. I will visit the Kerry where, after 28 years, I found Barry again. I know I will feel his spirit there, and probably see him in the crowds. I’ll hear his voice and turn to look, but he won’t be there. I’ll raise a few glasses to my friend and shed a few selfish tears. He is home and free from all his worries, it is us who cry while he laughs.
I’ll visit the Mississippi where his ashes are and say a prayer for his family, friends and myself, for he needs no prayers.
I miss you more everyday my friend. Barry, just by knowing you I’m a better person.
When I get to heaven, you can have my mayo for your fries!!
Always,
Carty
I just wat to say thank you for making my life a little more fun, a little more sweet and a little more gentle. I had a real rough childhood due to an abusive Mom; but, I could just sink into the Cowsills music and feel good, or have someone to comiserate with when I felt lonely. I went to the IIXII concert in Dallas, TX. I was 13. It was the most wonderful night in my life. I had the “Hair” picture with me and everyone signed it. I was quite taken with Barry and his sweetness. Today my heart aches for the loss of Barry and of Bill. I don’t keep up with the news too much because I have problems with clinical depression and the news makes me sad. I heard one of the Cowsill songs last night and I was right back to that 13 year old again. This morning I went on line out of curiosity. My heart just sank. I wil never forget the wonderful music you shared with us. My prayers will remain with you. Thank you for make my world a little happier. Rebecca
I know that this comment is somewhat late, given that Barry passed away some time ago now. However, I just want to say that, growing up in the then Rhodesia, as a kid in the late 60′s, the Cowsill’s music was (and still is) just pure magic. It has a purity, an innocence, about it, which is so refreshing, compared to some of the drug induced, hippy type music that came out in that time-frame (65-75). As with Rebecca Seaman’s comment, even today the music takes me back to those carefree days of youth. I would love to find a CD of their best music somewhere, but, even though I have scanned the shelves many times in these massive music shops in these massive shopping malls of today (here in South Africa), the young people behind the counters don’t even know who the Cowsills were or are! A travesty of justice, as their music easily rivals some of the more so-called fancied names of that era. My sincere condolences to the surviving Cowsill family, may God bless you and keep you, may His countenance shine upon you and may he gently wipe away every tear shed for lost family members. Bless you guys,
Keith Wawn, Cape Town
Thinking of Barry (it’s almost his birthday, which is Sept 14). Just played the Best of the Cowsills that I bought on iTunes a few years ago. Geeze — such wonderful harmonies. They were just stunningly beautiful. It was really sad to read the first post from the guy who tried to sign them to a record contract, but failed because of another person. Talent doesn’t just disappear. And the Cowsills had tremendous talent. I was a teeny bopper fan in the ’60′s and still love them. Barry was the heart throb. And will be for all eternity now. RIP sweet Barry.
It seems that time never heals the wounds and the eternal heartbreak of losing Barry. When I found out that he was gone, it really just broke my heart. I saw his picture only in the 16 magazine and literally became smitten over his picture and I loved him from that moment. I was only 12 years old in the summer of 1968 when I saw that photo of Barry. I am still smitten with Barry. I didn’t know that he had mental troubles, God Rest His Soul. I wonder if he really wanted the help before the hurricane. I wonder if he was possibly taking his own life to avoid dealing with his health. I wonder if he was near where the hurricane was and he was having a bi-polar problem and just didn’t care or didn’t know that he was going to be killed. I guess we will never know.
I will always love Barry, no matter what his health was doing to him. I pray that Barry is happy. He only knows what happened to him. If he didn’t want to be called a heart throb, probably because it embarrassed him to get so much attention.
Maybe he didn’t think he was that “special”. But he WAS & STILL IS. You are SO EASY TO LOVE, BARRY! And I truly love his whole COWSILL family. I pray that God will protect this family. Bob, Richard, Paul, John and Susan. I SEND A PRAYER FOR RICHARD WHO HAS CANCER. He needs all of the support and love, and a special prayer to his family, who loves him very much!
I LOVE YOU BARRY, where ever you are,
Carol Demanche
Colorado Springs, Colorado
When I heard of Barry’s death I was completely saddened. I knew Barry back in late 1969 where we attended Hollywood Professional School. Barry was in my 9th grade. He was a very special person and I’ll always remember him being so gracious with even then when we were so young. I will miss you Barry my friend forever. RIP