The Automatik

Feel the love.

1. Letters in the Parade section of the Sunday paper that ask, “How do you think Niki Taylor reacted to the death of her sister?” and actually receive a response.
2. Movie studios who self-congratulate a little too much by saying things like, “Only Miramax could bring you a film like Biodome.”
3. Any celebrity that is referred to by their first name ONLY that ISN’T Cher, Madonna, Sting or Fabio.
4. When actresses at awards shows brag about who they are “wearing,” as in, “I’m wearing Vera Wang.”
5. Celebrities who appear on shows like VH-1′s The List claiming to be “old school” when their earliest musical reference points are bands from the late 80′s.
6. The staggering amount of actors and musicians that Winona Ryder has been linked to romantically.
7. Articles in US or People Magazine which describe the reasons behind the “shocking split” between celebrity couples.
8. Inside the Actor’s Studio syndrome: any actor or actress who gets misty-eyed when discussing their “craft.”
9. Letters to magazine editors that say, “Thank you so much for your article on Julia Roberts/Britney Spears/Heidi Klum. She is a charming and talented young woman who deserves happiness. I’m glad to hear that she has found love and I wish her all the luck in the world.”
10. Scientology.