The Automatik

Here are my top ten favorite things about VH-1′s One Hit Wonders special.

1. William Shatner as the host. Although that should be enough to make you dance around the room, he uses the phrase “balls out” with no irony whatsoever. Go Shatner!

2. Getting to see stuff that I haven’t really forgotten about, but that doesn’t occupy my brain on a daily basis. For example, Gerardo’s “Rico Suave,” Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back,” and Jane Child’s “Don’t Wanna Fall in Love.” I think about these from time to time, but it’s not the kind of stuff that gets heavy (or even any) rotation on TV these days.

3. Getting to see stuff that I’ve never seen before. So far the coolest surprise has been the old footage of Soft Cell performing “Tainted Love” on Top of the Pops and being interviewed on MTV. It made me remember why I loved Marc Almond so much back in the day. EEK! Now he’s all buff and tattooed, but back then, with unnaturally black hair and eyeliner to match, glammy accessories and sleeveless t-shirts he was SO adorable. Sigh…

4. Getting to see artists I’d never actually seen before. Sure I love “Play That Funky Music” as much as anyone, but who knew the lead singer looked like a beefier Mac Davis? And Carl “Kung Fu Fighting” Douglas was bald! ? and the Mysterians’ lead singer is an eerie mix of John Leguizamo in To Wong Foo AND John Lazar from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls…and believes he’s from Mars to boot!

5. Getting to see bands that I love and consider to have many good songs, even if they weren’t technically hits. Besides Nick Gilder and Thomas Dolby, who were truly cool, and Soft Cell, who had oodles of great tunes that they actually wrote, there was the unparalleled genius of Devo and that alien robot wanna-be, Gary Numan. For the record, “I Melt With You” is the worst song on Modern English’s amazing After the Snow and Aha had at least three good songs besides “Take On Me” Still, it was neat just to see all the footage of these bands that I’ve known and loved for years, even if it was only still photos of the albums I already own.

6. The sidebars that detail certain one hit wonder trends. Like the time-honored tradition of actors crossing over into the music world. Don Johnson winking at the camera during his “Heartbeat” video begged to be rewound and laughed at twice (and was). Patrick Swayze emoting, “She’s like the wind, through my trees” forced me to ask (again) what does that even MEAN? The return (and departure, thank god) of Bruce Willis as “Bruno” was supremely argh-worthy.

7. The commentary by the expected, the unexpected and the what the hell…? I can see why someone would want to know the opinion of legends such as Alice Cooper or even Henry Rollins. And I thoroughly enjoyed the surprisingly interesting thoughts of comedian Penn Jillette. But Ricki Rockett from Poison? Marilu Henner? Some of the music journalists who give their two cents are salient and funny (though I haven’t heard of some of them), but nothing topped the appearance of legendary Legs McNeil, co-author of Punk Magazine and all around rock writer legend. No one would deny the importance of Nile Rodgers, but the guy is so damn positive about everything (“I thought Annabella from Bow Wow Wow had real star quality!”), it’s kind of cute. The funniest commentator by far was Jason Schwartzmann with his deadpan swipes at “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

8. The songs that I consider my favorites of all time, one hit wonder label, be damned! “I Know What Boys Like” by The Waitresses is one of the COOLEST songs ever. Sugar Hill Gang’s classic and vastly influential “Rapper’s Delight” is a treasure. “Spirit in the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum is just an awesome tune and “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant seems to improve with age.

9. Finding out those little details that I never knew as well as reminiscing about the ones that I did. Sure, I recall being outraged by Vanilla Ice ripping off Queen and Bowie’s “Under Pressure” but even my rock-geek status isn’t infallible, as I had no idea he never credited Wild Cherry for his “cover” of “Play That Funky Music.” I still love Young MC’s “Bust a Move,” but I didn’t know he still makes records or that he graduated from USC with a degree in Economics the year before the song hit the charts. I knew about David “Hutch” Soul’s singing career, but didn’t know he sang “Don’t Give Up On Us, Baby,” a lite rock radio staple.

10. Taco. Yes, he gets his own category. I’ve never liked his cover of “Puttin’ on the Ritz” (and if you don’t believe me, ask my mom, who DID like it) but to see his Phantom of the Opera face leering in the commercials made me think his photo should be on My Cat Hates You. Clowns are bad. And I’m sure it was intended, but the amusement of hearing the voice over say, “The young Taco grew up in Germany…” made me laugh and laugh. Rock journalist Rob Sheffield’s quip “I don’t even think Taco’s mother bought his second album” spawns the obvious question, “What’s Taco’s mother’s name? Fajita!” Ah, stupid jokes.