- The Police: Don’t Stand So Close to Me (1980)
This is one of the first videos that I can remember seeing, pre-MTV, on a show called Video Jukebox which aired during the wee hours. I was at my dad’s house one weekend, and after this came on I remember feeling a bit odd and panicky. My dad asked me what was wrong and I told him that the video made me nervous. I couldn’t even explain why! I think I understood what the song was about without truly understanding it on a conscious level. The Police look cool yet act goofy in the video; this would set the tone for many of my crushes throughout grade school and junior high.
- Cheap Trick: Dream Police (1979)
Another Video Jukebox favourite, I remember watching this at my cousin’s house after Midnight Special came on. To my pre-teen mind, my cousins were terribly unfortunate because they didn’t have MTV. At that time, I would much rather have watched MTV all night than had an actual conversation with people. “Dream Police” is awesome because it completely borrows the aesthetic of the album but still manages to be cool and not (too) cheesy. I remember thinking how smoking hot Robin Zander was in the scene with the tie and how totally dirty Tom Petersson was in the scene with the lipstick kisses.
- Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: I Love Rock & Roll (1981)
This video seemed so dark and raw to me back then. I was actually scared of it. Joan Jett looked like she could wound you with a glance, like she’d just as soon kick your ass as say hello to you, and like she ate men for breakfast. I loved her slumpy shoulder guitar-playing stance, her distinctive mullet/shag, and her unstoppable rock and roll power.
- EBN OZN: AEIOU (Sometimes Y) (1983)
This is one of my most-adored songs from the decade and I can’t imagine hearing this in a club and not wanting to jump around like a maniac. OZN’s talk-singing vocals, weird hairstyle, and jazz shoes made him seem like an alien from some other planet, not just New York City. His story of how he and his girlfriend got high and “totally into each other” implied forbidden and dangerous things my kid brain could barely comprehend. And EBN’s freaky amazing keyboards still give me chills. To this day I quote the line, “Huh! Do I wanna go OUT?!?!” Lola, Lola, Lola, Lola. . .
- Bauhaus: Telegram Sam (1980)
My friend, who was lucky enough to have a VCR in the mid-80s, taped this off of Night Flight and we watched it five times in a row every weekend for a year. It was on a tape labelled “The one with Time Zone” because it also featured the John Lydon/Afrika Bambatta song. I thought Peter Murphy was only second in high-cheekboned gorgeousness to David Sylvian. And he wore black lipstick. Could anything have been hotter back then? The scene where he’s flapping his arms up and down with his skinny knees poking out will be burned on my brain until the end of my days.
- Coil: Tainted Love (1984)
The Soft Cell version of this was a fave back in the day and my friends and I begged our music teacher in grade school to let us sing “cool” songs like this instead of Melissa Manchester’s “You Should Hear How She Talks About You.” So you can imagine how much this death-rocked-out cover blew my mind, especially with Marc Almond’s cameo and the obvious references to the AIDS epidemic. The clips of the grotesque paintings shown throughout were an obsession of mine for many years.
- Japan: Visions of China (1981)
I didn’t actually see the Duran Duran Guest VJ spot on MTV when they played this video but I heard about it from all my friends who did. Anyone that Duran Duran listed as an influence and who looked and sounded as amazing as David Sylvian had to be incredibly important. For years, he was the ultimate gorgeous, ethereal, elusive rock star to me. Okay, he still is. I even wore red plastic glasses for a few years in homage to his.
- Siouxsie and the Banshees: Spellbound (1981)
Besides the fact that this song is great and the video is totally creepy cool, there was also Siouxsie’s eyeliner, which I spent many hours trying to perfect throughout the ’80s. How can the woman make yellow polka dots look so badass? She is still one of the coolest ever, by far. The line, “Take them by the legs and throw them down the stairs” chilled me to the bone. Later I saw her on some British TV show and realized she didn’t shave her armpits. I thought she was a goddess.
- Split Enz: One Step Ahead (1981)
Split Enz was the first New Wave band I fell for, even before Adam and the Ants and Duran Duran. Watching this video now, I appreciate it on a whole different level, but back then it was all about their weird lyrics and Tim’s red socks. I actually choreographed and performed a dance to this in my school’s sixth grade talent show. I wore my mom’s leotard with an iron-on rhinestone heart on the bum and at least one boy was observed checking me out. Did I mention my outfit also included a top hat and cane? I was like a New Wave Liza Minnelli. In my mind.
- Killing Joke: Eighties (1985)
Years before Marilyn Manson did the whole “Fascist dictator” shtick in a video, there was Jaz Coleman. This video terrified and fascinated me: Geordie dressed as a priest with whip marks on his back? “Eighties” has an incredible guitar riff that’s both heavy and catchy. The overt political commentary in the video went a bit over my head, but I still got the point. Killing Joke have other great tunes, but this one is a definite standout to me.
- Todd Rundgren: Time Heals (1981)
All the weird transitions of Todd through a montage of Surrealist paintings used to disturb the hell out of me, so of course I wanted to watch this video every time it came on. It was yet another video that made me nervous. (Clearly, I was a neurotic child.) It helps that it’s a fantastic song, too. I still maintain that this is one of the top ten greatest videos of all time. It’s got that vaguely unsettling, definitely pretentious, yet innocent quality that became lost after about 1985, to be replaced with high production values, bad acting, and general boringness.
